Sunday 24th May '09 Keelings V's Sedlescombe (Away)

I have now heard from all but Howard (Sir ParagonicLeap), who has now been pronounced missing in action, presumably lost in the harsh winter campaign  of 08/09.  If anyone hears from him it would be lovely to get some news.

You will no doubt be relieved to hear that the call to arms has not gone unheeded.  Your champions have picked up the proffered gauntlet and stand proud in the defence of fine family traditions (not quite sure what they are??!). We have squad of 15 and the selectors (me) have cogitated, ruminated and deliberated.  The main team (11 men good and true) is chosen and there will be 3 ‘12th’ men to act as rolling substitutes for the bent and withered old crones amongst our number.

The team is as follows:

Dr Trev
Simon
Tom the elder
John
Bill
Paul
Archie
Felix
Fred
Ted
Jasper

The 12th men are:

Luke
Arthur
Zak
Yours, Skip.

24th May 2009 - Call to Arms (ii)

Well that was good!  The only rapid responses I got were from Mum, Camilla & George – and none of those were regarding playing or not!

Anyway I do now have a few responses and a squad is beginning to form.  I am looking to get a squad of 14/16 players.  If I can get theses from family then great, but if I have to look for ringers then I will.  We need a large squad as there a number of people who have said that they will play, but would like to stand down if possible.  I am looking primarily for family members, then registered bowlers, preferably over the age of 14, but will bend this last one if required.  So far, the team is shaping as follows:

Fully operational battle stations

Simon
Paul
Fred
Jasper
Felix
Bill
John
Tom (the elder)
Arthur
Luke

Definitely out of service

Jack
Jim
Joshua

No confirmed sightings (possibly extinct?)

Ted
Harry
Archie
Howard
Dr Trevor

Perhaps I have omitted someone who has not so far put themselves forward? This is open to all, so don’t be shy

Get back to me and let me know – I need input!

The Skip.

A Call to Arms - 24th May 2009

We go to liberate a lost trophy not to conquer. We will not fly our flags in the village. We are entering Sedlescombe to free our family from the shame of last year’s loss and the only flag which will be flown in that ancient land is their own. Show respect for them. There are some who are alive at this moment who will not last long at the crease. Those who do not wish to go on that journey, we will not send. As for the others I expect you to rock their world. Go after them aggressively if that is what you choose. But if you are ferocious in battle remember to be magnanimous in victory.

Sedlescombe is steeped in history. It is the site of the Queen’s Head, of the Brickwall Hotel and the birthplace of Brabazon. Tread lightly there. You will see things that no man could pay to see and you will have to go a long way to find a more decent, generous and upright people than the villagers. You will be embarrassed by their hospitality even though they may have lost. Don't treat them as refugees for they are in their own village. Their children will be shocked at our victory, but in years to come they will know that the light of liberation in their lives was brought by you.

If there are casualties of the game then remember that when they woke up and got dressed in the morning they did not plan to get out that way. Allow them dignity in the fall of their wicket. Clap them properly to the pavilion and mark their scores in a fair and honest fashion.

It is my foremost intention to bring every single one of you out to a victorious post match celebration, but there may be people among us who will not be able to stay and see the end of this match. We will put them in their cars and send them back. There will be no time for a beer.

The enemy should be in no doubt that we are his nemesis and that we are bringing about his rightful destruction. Show them no pity.

It is a big step to take another’s wicket. It is not to be done lightly. I know of men who have given their wickets away needlessly in other matches, I can assure you they live with the Mark of Cain upon them. If someone surrenders their wicket to you then remember they have that right under international cricket law and ensure that they return to the pavilion unharmed.

The ones who wish to play, well, we aim to please.

If you harm the family or its history by over-enthusiasm in taking wickets or in laziness in the field, know it is your family who will suffer. You will be shunned unless your conduct is of the highest for your deeds will follow you down through history. We will bring shame on neither our team, nor our family.

As for ourselves, let's bring the trophy home and leave Sedlescombe a better place for us having been there.

Our business now is just to the south of the village green.

Your Captain and Keeper of the Fixtures & Fittings
Comment
Wow. I am definitely coming. That is a real call to arms

Posted by: Ruth | March 12, 2009 at 03:38 PM